I was applying for a research grant. The grant is worth $1500, and it would fund a trip down to Argentina (nice research, huh), and to me personally it represented an opportunity to do things right for once. I wanted to work hard, put everything in order, do everything by the book, and win this grant, as if I could thereby prove to myself that I can be responsible. I'm always trying to prove that to myself. Ever since my 12th-grade English teacher Louise Durham called me a Play Station.
The bad news is that my desire to feel like I could be successful on "their" terms made me susceptible to that fearsome college campus epidemic, emasculating kowtowery. It may have been already in its early stages when I went to this proposal-writing workshop where people who give the impression of having authority on these matters give you hints at how to kiss butts more effectively. One of their useful suggestions was, "Memorize the phrase, 'I am uniquely qualified to complete this project because . . ." They made a big deal out of it, so naturally, when it came time to write up my proposal, I seasoned it liberally with uniquely qualified. When I showed my proposal draft to Jim Kearl, my faculty mentor, he scratched out the word "uniquely" every place it occurred. I gave a half-hearted yelp of protest: "But at the workshop they said . . !" Kearl replied, unflapped but not bitingly, "Nobody's uniquely qualified, that's stupid."
And of course he's right.
The Moral of the Story: Don't do things you know are stupid just to get stupid people to think you're smart.
6 comments:
I applied for a Grant last year. They never told me that my project had been denied. I would have appreciated a nice "we're sorry, but..." letter.
PS. I'm glad you're not actually a play station.
Kearl can never do any wrong. He's a Mulder in a world full of unbelieving Scullys. He's just always right.
You think Asperger's is bad? Try telling someone you bought a cheap alfajor.
(the word i had to verify was: mates. no joke. and i bought a mate in argentina. no joke.)
OK Sandhizzle i will tell you something thats stupid. The notion that you are not responsible. Dude i was your comp, your senior comp and you babysat me! you pretty much are the most responsible person I know.
Awesome.
Oh and as for a particular english teacher she came to the bank and I did a transaction for her and I have been in her ward for 14 years and she had no idea who I was I even had my name tag on
If I may:
Mr. S I will tell you what I see when I look at you I see pride I see power I see a bad mother who dont take no crap from no body.
Thanks you Cool Runnings
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